Man Meets Cooker Hood

Picture the scene. A man in a crowded kitchen cooking the evening meal. He's had a long day and is rather tired having rushed home from work for two house viewings and is really beginning to flag.

Suddenly without a warning a massive silver cooker hood hoves into view. Without a seconds thought for life or limb it surges towards the gent’s unprotected forehead.

The man glances up from his spice blending. A mistake, it could be his last.

WHAM! With the power of hydraulic steam shovel the cooker hood strikes the man on the left temple, causing him to stagger back in dazed agony screaming "Jiminy Cricket my flipping head*"

The man collapses to the floor, his eyes staring dully at the ceiling all sparkle gone...

The net result? I'm not at work today as I'm still a bit dazed and don't fancy driving like this. Time for me and Harry Potter to retire to bed together. Erm, perhaps I should rephrase that but I'm perhaps still a little stunned...

*or similar perhaps zestier words